Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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