Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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