it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
MIDGETS
????
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
