dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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