i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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