she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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