Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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