i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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