Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
