okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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