quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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