I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i think i just lost a toe
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