I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize