omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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