He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I currently don't understand fingers.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
