Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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