forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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