Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
