There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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