Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"