Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
