Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
