its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think my moral compass just broke
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