I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
