Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
