whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
