we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
