Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
