I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
