I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
