why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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