He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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