there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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