Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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