i think my tv is drunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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