Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
