It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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