Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize