Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
