Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
