the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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