I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You left your phone here
Wait...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize