Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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