look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize