She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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