you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize