I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
