dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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