Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
