But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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