You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
