so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
